Shore leave
by TrekDr
Summary: The shore leave that they had always dreamt of. J/c. follows in my 'coming home with you' series but read a stand alone J/C wish fulfillment. M rated, it is shore leave after all!
1. Chapter 1

_my J/C post return fanfic is nearly linear, starting where endgame finished, but a J/C quick reversal - coming home with you. I think my following fanfics prob don't need a readthrough of the initial fanfic first, but since i loved that, I would recommend that you do. My profile is going to try and keep the timeline showing, in case you would like to go with it!_

 _This one is definitely an M. they are on shore leave after all._

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Finally we were truly alone together.

we ran out of the chalet and straight down the sand into the sea. The sun shining, sea azure with lacy white breaking waves. Golden sand beneath my feet. She is ahead, copper curls glinting, figure hugging green bathing wear, toned and honed body, my Kathryn. 'are you with me?' she shouts, as she sprints in advance of me 'always' as i lope after.

I used to dream of swimming here whilst i still had dreams in the delta quadrant, before dreams became too painful. When i really dared to dream, I would dream she was with me too. Then i gave up on dreaming, and i gave up on wanting our return, and tried to content myself with the little i had. then i gave up on that too.

i am dragged back to the present by a splash of water, as Kathryn kicks the surf against me. 'stop brooding' she commands and runs further in, throwing herself into the waves. her water glistening body beckons. I more slowly follow. Deanna told me that my confusion and mood swings are normal. that we used up all our resilience and more, and that it is quite amazing that we are as a group in as good a mental health as we are. she claims that this is almost certainly down to the family ethos we built, crediting me predominantly. She credits Kathryn with being an article of faith. She says it is important that we let our leader roles go now, at least in private. She says we must grasp our fun and playful side together. I see Kathryn's feet and lower legs rising straight and proud out of the water before arching over. One of us is clearly, and surprisingly, finding this easier to do. I wade in deeper, and realise that Kathryn hasn't come back to the surface, and so dive in and swim madly to her last position. Spirits, you just can't trust her not to get into trouble anywhere. My heart is beating faster. Fuck, all i was wanting was a weekend wihjust her, the kind of weekend i dreamt of in the delta quadrant. all those sodding torturous chaste visits to idyllic planets, and i go and lose her here. She pops up beside me, laughs and kisses me. 'missed me?'

The anger as well as passion that informs the kiss I give her surprises me. As she kisses me back with the wild abandon that i am starting to associate with her, the passion becomes predominant. 'Spirits, Kathryn' i breathe when we break apart. Her roving hands are going to make this a very short swim. i am wishing this is some unsettled planet back out in the delta quadrant now, as what i really want to do is make love to her here, where the waves meet the shore, with the sun shining on us. An utter madness here, when there are cameras journalists and watchers potentially everywhere, probably the image of our kiss will be plastered over some third rate holo. 'kathryn' i groan again, because clearly she has gone from being playful to possessed, and i am really not going to have pictures of us making love in the sea posted across fed news. She is a damned sea nymph, and her siren call has my body responding in seconds. Unlike Ulysses, I am not safely tied to some mast, and instead I find myself sorely tempted. 'Kathryn' i bark as a command, finding my resolve, I swoop her over my shoulder and carry her back out of the sea, giggling and laughing. I resolutely refuse to think of the holonews images. Admiral Paris was very convincing in his setting full responsibility at my door for her safety, and our propriety.

I race us back into the cabin, and have only barely slammed the door when i have her pressed against the wall and have resumed kissing her with redoubled desire. Half an hour in the sea, but spirits we managed less than quarter of an hour between our indolent love making whilst changing into our swimming clothes and our indecently hasty return to the chalet. I have it bad! no, we have it bad. She is slippery with beads of seawater, and her kisses taste of salt as well as coffee. Her demure tankini top clings to her, resisting my efforts to remove it. laughing she pushes me away and makes short work of stripping before i return with increased hunger. I chase the salt drops as they trickle down her body with my tongue. drips from her hair snaking around her neck, pooling between her clavicle and the upper border of trapezius. i lick them, lap them up and feel her melt into me, angling her head sideways so i can have my fill, wrapping her own hands around my ass, divesting me of my shorts, pulling me in closer with a hitch of her hips. I love to hear the gentle half moan, half sighs that signal her increased arousal, caressing my ears with the same incendiary touch that her delicate fingers entwine around my heart. My hands are re-exploring her topography, a fortnight more or less into our relationship and i could redraw her from memory, every curve, every angle, the muscles and the scars, the dips and promontaries. I had asked about the scars, but she says some things are supposed to be remembered. She isn't quite ready to name them all yet, though some I know. She is whispering in my ear all the things she hopes that i will do next. I didn't expect her to be such a talker, I guess i didn't really expect anything. i fantasised about the physicality and love. the actual is better, much, much better. My murmuring endearments in my native tongue inflames her, she says it is the tone of my voice, part blessing, part passion, all love. Her describing the sensations she feels as my hardness plunges into her, my hands caress her, and my mouth and tongue worship her inflames my passion a thousandfold. Already eager, she is shifting against me and I lift her up and we gaze at each other, a short pause before I am thrusting against her, and she is moving with me, adjusting, clenching and murmuring. She makes me feel like a god. Spirits, her warmth surrounding me, her tightness, her uninhibited ecstasy during lovemaking. Her thighs wrapped now around me, hands twisted in my hair and neck to hold me. lips to kiss and drown in, urging me, laughing, swearing. when we come together like this, it isn't love, it is pure primal fucking. spirits but i try to possess her, make her mine, own her, but as we both reach ecstasy, I know that I am more hers than ever. Catching my breath, she lets herself drop down to the floor, and be cradled in my arms. 'damn but i love you chakotay' I laugh, i don't doubt that she loves me, but that isn't what she is saying, what she is really saying is that she needs me as much as i need her, that i please her as much as she pleases me. My arms were made to hold her, my lips to kiss.

Still laughing, she steps free and confidently naked, walks to the replicator and surprises me by choosing coffee icecream before folding herself down onto the couch. She grins up at me 'it *is* hot chakotay' . I stride across, enjoying the feel of her eyes on my body, and order strawberries and cream icecream. When i turn around, she has an innocent face that i have learnt to be wary of. i watch as she places icecream on her spoon and slowly licks it off, swirling her tongue in a final flourish. She's good, i smirk and join her. I'm better. I am not using the spoon at all, and Kathryn gives a half moan, half giggle. i look up, aware that I have icecream on my nose, and she leans in and licks it off, followed by a languid kiss. Hmm, coffee, strawberries and cream. Next time i will choose a better complementary flavour. Spirits! i pull away to find her outright laughing and she leans further forwards to chase the glob of coffee icecream that is currently trailing down my chest, an icy path which is being inflamed as she follows. Spirits weep! I grin and lean back opening myself to more of the torture, Kathryn licks icecream around my nipples, sparking a reaction in my manhood, and as the icecream and kisses trail lower, i find i am coming back to life, growing harder as she inches closer. 'don't Kathryn!' I warn her, futile though that is! She pushes me completely back, and I smile limpidly at her. i can feel passion take its hold, but due to our frenetic earlier release, I have all the time in the world. I love the moves she makes and the exquisite joy of when she pleasures me. I am relieved when she takes my swollen head into her mouth without icecream adornment. i am relaxing into this, enjoying the swirl of her tongue, the gentle nips along the shaft, and the delicate tease of fingers. my half lidded eyes fail to notice that she also can take her icecream without spoon, and I am shocked upright when with the next mouthful of me she takes, icy sensation trickles down my glans. 'Fuck! Kathryn' and she takes me completely, with her questing fingers behind my balls, pressing deep, providing a contrapuntal rhythm to her tongue around my shaft. the close relationship between ice cold and deep warmth of my head in her throat and the vibrations of her throaty laughter against it and i am nearly weeping with the confused pleasure. I am existing purely on the edge of explosion as Kathryn plays me, she knows how to get me to the edge and then dance away until I am thrusting myself up into her mouth with abandon, groaning her name, cursing her skills in my native tongue, begging her to let the flames engulf me. Just as i truly believe that my life hangs in the balance between urgent agony of wanting and ecstasy, she lets me achieve my release, pressing firmly at my opening as she takes me fully so that her nose is buried against me and she hums a moan as she breaths out. I fire my seed at her, as she milks me until i have no life left. I hang between unconsciousness and bliss and am barely aware as she finally lets me free. 'Spirits Kathryn' , she looks at me with a grin, it is wonderful to have such an accomplished lover. I am too old t teach new tricks, and just love being loved. i realise she is putting her bathers back on. 'you're welcome, all in the name of my own scientific research' .' i sit up as she throws my trunks at me. then strides to the door and leaves it open as she races back down to the sea. I cover myself quickly and race after her. This time, this time we should spend some time laughing in the sun.

I see her dancing at the wave edge until some spins and then acrobatics cartwheel her into the see, and she is off like a porpoise. I think of her always as a creature of fire, her heart aflame, full of desire and hair the colour of embers, a soul in the stars. But she sees herself at one with the water, dancing in rain, luxuriating in her bath, and clearly delighting in the sea. She is two of the elements, and I complete her with earth and air. Chakotay, I chide myself, stop brooding!

I run out of the chalet and straight down to the sea.

I run to be at one with my past, present and future dreams, diving into the sea to join her.


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up long after the sun has come up. The laziness of not being on alpha shift, not having debrief, and the warmth of my deep sleep. the cabin has already warmed up, and i have a human radiator ensconced in my bed. I cannot help but smile. After years of not sleeping, the cure was, as expected, always next to me. He has wrapped around me, protecting my back even in my sleep, and we have naturally spooned together in the night. his breath is rippling softly against my hair, sometimes more of a snort than an exhalation, his large strong hand is across my abdomen holding me close, whether keeping me safe or preventing my escape and one of his legs is resting between mine. We belong.

I wish I could do a sneaky bit of time travel myself to tell the pair of us a tear ago to hold together and be strong, that it was all going to come out. But, i think after all I have had my fill of time travel, and perhaps part of the joy I have is that we have had the hardships and made it through. Talking to Deanna has certainly been helpful for me, I know that the dog of depression is always a risk, and it will be a big bit of my debrief, and also I am unsurprised that I can be considered to have PTSD, with decision making fatigue. Deanna recommends at least 3 months before I take any command responsibilities. However, I know my healing started with punching through that borg sphere, and continued with the celebratory walk and the voyager party when I fully accepted the love of the voyager family, and that i did deserve it. I laid away lots of my guilt as I delivered on that one big promise. As Deanna says, we were lucky to get back before I had lost so much of myself that i was unrecoverable. I give my thanks to the Admiral, that she recognised that. I am still not entirely sure of all her motivation for our return, and I think she probably played me. however, we did deliver, and both for me and for her, I make sure that the adjustment of all the crew is smoothed and they are still protected. my healing process has now the catalyst of Chakotay, loving, protecting and also vulnerable. We can heal together. This weekend, though, is mostly about a different type of healing.

As if he can sense my thoughts, I can feel as Chakotay starts to come awake. His breathing changes, and I notice some gentle kisses being dropped against my hair, and his fingers gently caress my abdomen. My smile widens, I cannot think of a better way to start the day and I wriggle slightly to increase the contact between us. Since this acts as a marker that I am awake, chakotay murmurs his morning greeting in my ear and I curve my neck to allow access for him to kiss down. Our lovemaking has been varied, imaginative and deeply satisfying. However, I perhaps love morning sex most. Perhaps because of the languid nature. Often, it seems, i have awoken to the gentle caressing of my abdomen and the butterfly kisses on my neck, already deeply aroused, so we have both realised that we have a mutually agreed habit already. A habit! i grin, it has been only 12 days since we first declared our love. I reach my free arm behind me to rest onto his hipbone, pulling us closer, and I can feel his arousal against my lower spine. Hmmm, it takes very little, just some slight adjustments to position and he is there, pressing and it takes only a moan of acceptance before we are joined. we pause, as always to enjoy the moment. A pause where I give thanks for the admiral, Chakotay's change of direction and my general good fortune. A small pause of pleasant anticipation before a gentle, lazier lovemaking takes over. The intensity of the pleasure is none the less for the languorous approach, this relaxed position suits us well for tender expression of desire.

We relax, satisfied, against each other, and I turn enough for a morning kiss. 'i love you', his heart is in his eyes and his smile. Whilst i stretch in our bed and prepare to face the day, he returns with coffee and pain au chocolat for me, and he has a sugary sweet tea and fruit. I am utterly spoiled by his attentions. He has many plans for the day, wondering which would be my preference. I stop him there. 'chakotay, this was your dream, you planned to bring me here, i remember you saying this is where you would want to return home to. so show me! He wants to take me to the city of the dawn. We have missed, by some time, seeing dawn arise, but he is excited, it is beautiful, by the coast, the town has some great restaurants to end up in and he can share it with me. 'sounds perfect, up and attem love'

I am delighted by the city of dawn, standing warrior proud on the edge of the land, guarding the caerulean sea. the last of the Mayan cities, eventually to fall to the Spanish, its walls and ditches no final defense. there is a whisper of a breeze in the otherwise scorching sun. everything seems brighter, more colourful, more wonderful. This may be a side effect of seeing it all with Chakotay. We need no guide as he recreates the scenes of life amongst the Mayans, he shows me how the temple tracked the movements of the sun, the diving god and the Venus. We have been walking hand in hand for hours, enjoying the freedom of sore leave with no responsibilities. I have no list of essential engineering requirements, no food list from neelix, nor leola root to hide and there is no bowing and scraping to envoys and dinners to sit through. Best of all, there is chakotay. There, on the cliffs overlooking the gulf of mexico, with the city of dawn behind us, i turn and smile at him, the perfect man for the perfect day. 'I will always remember this, chakotay, it has been perfect' cupping his cheek in my hand, i gently kiss him, before smiling and walking on. His heartfelt smile breaks across his face, and an arm wraps around me. Sometimes the opportunity to just be like anyone else is the greatest gift we have for each other.

As the afternoon draws towards the evening we walk around the town outside, to buy a few silly trinkets as a reminder. This was an obsidian area, and we see some artisans working designs into obsidian, we end up with matching hearts on leather thong to wrap around our wrists, giggling like teenagers, and then three animal pendants - turtles - that i plan to give to the three voyager children, Naomi, Miral and my son, Icheb. Chakotay leads us to a small restaurant by the sea, serving a mix of locals and investigative tourists. It has a simplified menu, vegetarian or meat it says, and so we both opt for vegetarian. We enjoy a selection of appetisers whilst drinking cool beer, before having bean stew and cornbread. This wasn't quite the food i was expecting on a romantic date, but it is so very honest, and very chakotay that I agree with him that it was the best choice. Although we missed the dawn, we do watch the sunset, the shadows of the town jutting out onto the sands, to the strains of music from one of the other cafe's, we slip off our shoes and dance on the sands, until the gentle kisses become more persistent, and we are reminded that there are other dances.

It is moonlit as we walk along our own beach, shoes still in hand feeling the cool waves lap against our feet in contrast to the warmth generated by his arms around me. laughing, kissing and murmuring words of love. Yes, this is what shore leave should always have been. I am tempted to throw off my clothes and race into the sea, but chakotay is under strict orders from Owen to make sure we behave, so i will have to settle for a cool shower. it doesn't stop me telling chakotay what i would like from our naked swim in the sea, and our slightly meandering walk back to our cabin suddenly takes on the urgency of a route march at the double.

Spun into our cabin, I am laughing with the pure happiness of it all. A fortnight ago I had no idea that we would have this chance together. I didn't imagine we would be on earth either, though I had resolutely to give up on that vision. I dance all the way into the bathroom and slip into the shower, cool to make me think of the sea. I love the sensation of the cold on my head, seeping into me, numbing me, and the cold on my skin, sparking and shivering and making me feel more alive. I like the combination of contrary sensations. I need no additional senses to tell me when he is looking at me though, I can feel the smoulder through the cool waterfall. So when his heat enfolds me, i turn and stop his cursing at the cool with a long drawn out kiss. Starting with the lightest of pressure against his lips, whilst allowing my fingers to caress his tattoo and run through his hair and the other hand to support me around his neck as I balance perilously to reach. Gradually deepening as i draw him down to my level, creating a sheltering arch of Chakotay between me and the invigorating water. He breaks off, shaking water to the far reaches of the room. 'Spirits, Kathryn, but that is freezing' I pout, as that persuades him to give my lips further attention nibbling and pulling softly, delightfully, but doesn't stop him from switching off the cascading iceflow, and instead having the sonic warm and dry us. I am loved and content in his arms, even if put out that he doesn't share my love of cold water. I will have to find a deserted planet and a waterfall.

'come' he says, and I try hard not to smirk and try his patience. From the tuvok elevation of his eyebrow, I am aware that I have failed. I allow myself to be led from the bathroom to the bedroom, and throw myself backwards onto the bed with abandon. This bed is huge, definitely made to share in the widest sense. Not that I plan to share Chakotay, ever. He asks me what i am thinking, and blush when i say that I was thinking this was a 'sharing' bed. He apparently is also not keen to share, ever. It is good to be of the same mind. I am bathed in his kisses, from tip to toe. I cannot help a purr of pure pleasure as he kisses that spot above and around my clavicle, the one that causes my whole body to respond with desire. I tell him the sensation is like a good pudding wine, it is sweet and seductive and before you expect, you are drowning in it, and losing your perspective. He growls, and tells me to stop analysing, moving down to tease my breasts. the gentle caresses, and deep suction arouse me further, alternately purring and moaning at him, trying to manoeuvre myself into a position where i have full body contact. We have spent the day chastely courting, and I don't know how he has the capacity for such tenderness and thoroughness, when I would just pin him down into unity.

Chakotay can feel my impatience, keen as i am to rein it in, to allow him to set the pace. I have set the pace for seven years - seven fuckingly non-fucking years as he shouted last week, trying to get his head around why it had taken so long for us to get here. So I give him the control, he deserves it, but I am bad at not taking charge. Luckilly, chakotay an work my body like a maestro, and I am grinning at him, reminding him that patience has never been one of my virtues. He snorts and slowly licks a spiral around my abdomen whilst i bring my feet to rest on each shoulder, clearly signposting and nudging him ever downwards. I can sense when he changes a moment before he dives to taste me, what he can do with his mouth is beyond heaven. The swirl around my clit before the dive into me, like a kayak on the rapids he skirts and circles, knowing where to put pressure, where to tease. His hands are not still either, having grasped my hips and then sliding down over my buttocks to end with the thumbs providing pressure, just enough for me to wriggle to make them choose a direction. They slide into me, pressure only as his tongue joins them, extending in me to its fullest, tasting me, adoring me before moving back to take a mouthful of my clit as the thumbs start their action. Damn but this is perfection. my mind stops thinking, analysing and I am just existing in the plane of that moment. It is with gentleness, love, tenderness and a tactical mastery over the weapons and battlefield of his choice that Chakotay annihilates my earthly presence and catapults me into the stars.

As I slowly rejoin the world, I see his smug face and quizzical eyebrow lift. He knows, he knows that I am utterly his, in thrall to his mastery, and I love him, and it. 'You can be in charge' I say, as if it is some great concession, not current fact. 'noted' he swiftly moves from my friend and lover, to empower me, pinning me down against the bed my hands trapped under his as his tongue plunders my mouth. I arch unbidded against him as he slowly and precisely enters me. So slowly that it is near torture, and I marvel again at his consummate skill and willpower. I see him wondering whether I will crack and push the pace, but instead I give myself entirely to his rhythm. If this mornings lovemaking was languorous, this is at the speed of continental drift, but with the same inevitability of a cataclysmic ending. I hold his line, moving with exquisite time and focus, concentrating on all the senses available to enjoy. Gradually, with the intensity of a slow burst gravimetric explosion, our movements increase until finally we can barely hold the rhythm. Chakotay still has my hands pinned down, though above my head and held firmly by the wrist with one hand. Each stroke increases the critical pressure and I am a star about to supernova, with each stroke I feel how hard he is controlling his own release, how close. 'now chakotay now' I scream as i release control and he throws himself into the resulting convulsion and howls my name into the ether. We are both undone. We are both linked in the unity which now, looking back over our seven years of controlled and chaste love, has always been the inevitable outcome. Death or surrender to the eternal flame. I can hardly regain my breath, and Chakotay is crashed beside me, I huff a laugh - barely, and at his question the only word that comes out is shuttle. I feel like we have crashed and burned another shuttle in the intensity of our love. He shakes his head slightly and shuts his eyes to be embraced by Morpheus. If I had thought I was going to stay awake and muse about our love and destiny, I was wrong. I find that it is late morning, and this time Chakotay is waking me in the manner to which I have started to become accustomed.


End file.
